tribulation in mind

Webster's dictionary defines the word Tribulation as distress or suffering resulting from oppression or persecution and also a trying experience. In the Bible, tribulation is specifically referenced in Revelations--describing seven-year tribulation that will come in the form of physical sufferings. The period in which God himself will judge and discipline the mankind and will demonstrate his righteousness and justice. It is easy to think that this tribulation has not come upon us yet, because we are not witnessing the "sufferings" we've seen in Revelations.

Lately, I have been noticing more and more of the definite presence of tribulation in our generation. They are in our minds. It is in my mind. My spirit has consciously and unconsciously been waned by this war that continue to come at me mercilessly. Ever since I have been back in the States, the vigorous current of society's ideas and ideals have been repeatedly sweeping over my heart. I helplessly feel as though my ability to explore and grasp the Truth for myself is lost. Through every possible means, the world is monotonously feeding my mind with its own objectives and calls it perfectly desirable. Everywhere I go, everything I see is screaming at me to follow the rest of the world, to follow the already made consent that is "ideal." Behind the facade of "security","fame" and "post-modernism," I faintly sense growls and snarls of the enemy who wants to habituate me into this prearranged system of society which tells me how to live my life.

At times, it has been much easier to choose what has been so conspicuously presented before me than to cling on to pursuit of the Truth--Truth that would bring freedom from it all, that shall set free me from my continual status of blind submission to society. Truth that would empower me to decode and reconstruct what the world says is reality, that would enlighten my mind to see beyond given definition of things. Thankfully I still do possess a blinking awareness that what the world wants for me is to conform into and believe in its prescribed reality, and that the disheartening purpose of flashy display of theses desirable objectives is to discourage me from seeking the original source of what is truly pleasant, the One whom should be my only desire. The One who is able to instantly empower me to see and fight for REALity.

It is when I actually try to resist and defy these voices that the tribulation begins. When I am merely complying and feeding off what the world exhibits as factual, there is no struggle. When I want to question and retaliate, however, then the voices become shrilling and thunderous to the point where I can barely hear myself--its goal is to make myself believe that I was deaf to begin with. That I do not have the ability to decipher for myself, so go ahead. Do what's easy. Conform. This our tribulation. My tribulation. The tribulation in mind. So dangerously existent. But I shall stand, for the Lord is able to make me stand. I have more battles to fight and win.

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed;

perplexed, but not in despair,

persecuted, but not abandoned;

struck down, but not destroyed.

We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.

Therefore we do not lose heart. We fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. Since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.